to

Mrs. Wheeler's Page

School Social Worker

McLaughlin, Nims, and Steele

(231)720-3011 

 

 

BUILDING CHILDREN’S SELF-ESTEEM

 

It can be said that a good self–esteem is the number one weapon in the fight against drugs, promiscuity, violence, suicide and other social ills.  A healthy self-esteem is vital to making wise choices that lead to living a healthy, happy, fulfilling life.   How do we build self-esteem in the classroom?

 

Through a series of excerpts from a combination of the books  “Quick and Easy Self-Esteem Builders” by Bertie Ryan Synowiec and “Thinking, Changing, Rearranging” by Jill Anderson , I would like to present to you practical ways that you can build the self-esteem of your students everyday. Giving you yet another ‘best practice’ to make manifest the vision of ‘The best for every child, everyday’.

 

12 Ways to build self-esteem

1. Children need to be acknowledged for what they are:

You can do this by what you say:

You’re a neat kid.

How are you?

I’m glad you’re in my class this year.

 

And do:

A smile.

Ask about something they previously told you.

Pat their shoulder as you pass.

 

2. Children need to be acknowledged for what they do:

I like the way you finished a job.

You did a great job on your project.

I like how hard you work.

 

3. We need a lot of praise before we can take in criticism without damaging our self-esteem. Use the 5:1 rule. One piece of criticism to five pieces of praise or acknowledgment.

 

4. Don’t use generalizations, they are rarely true, e.g. “You never get to school on time,” or “Your work is always messy.”

 

5. No name-calling. Remember labels are sticky and can be harmful.

 

6. No put-downs.

 

7. Don’t put unrealistic expectations on children. Get to know the capabilities of children at each stage of development, e.g. adults often say to a child, “How would you feel if…?” Little children, and many time older children, don’t know (Research shows that the part of the brain that reasons is not fully developed until 25).

 

8. Don’t compare one child with another.

 

9. Criticize the behavior not the child. “I didn’t like what you did,” instead of “You’re a naughty/bad kid.  The latter put down the whole child and doesn’t leave room for hope.  The first means-if I change my behavior things will be better for me.

 

10. Give children a chance to learn. Behavior doesn’t change overnight.  Children are in the process of becoming, as we all are.

 

11. Put yourself on the child’s side. “We’ve got a problem here. What can we do?” This gives the child a stake in what’s going on.

 

12. When children feel threatened or frightened they may react with anger.  Here are some things children often feel fearful of:

 

 

I might fail.

I might not be good enough.

I might not be loved.

My peers might not like me.

I might be powerless.

I might be unwanted.

I might not understand.

I might not know what you want from me.

I might be shown up/embarrassed/shame.

I might not belong/fit in (to a family, culture, peer group).

 

INDICATORS Of LOW SELF-ESTEEM

 

Self-Esteem is a belief that you belong, that you will have a rightful place in the society of today and there will be a place for you tomorrow.  With this belief that you belong, there is hope.  Without it there is none. People with low self-esteem:

• Have a poor opinion of themselves and often feel put down, or of little worth.
• Feel unlucky, rejected, mistreated and a loser; feel sorry for themselves; have no confidence that they can be of value to others.
• Worry that something is wrong with them and feel inadequate, think they are good for nothing, are afraid others will find out.
• Distrust others and feel others are against them, and want to hurt them, feel they must defend themselves from others.
• Are uncomfortable when others look at them or speak to them, can’t face up to people confidently, can’t look them in the eyes.
• Are insecure with “superior” people, don’t feel good enough to be accepted by others, except those who feel poorly about themselves.

 

TRAITS OF HIGH SELF-ESTEEM

When the issues around low self-esteem are resolved, traits of high self-esteem appear:

 

• Feel good about themselves and harbor a basic sense of trust in self and others.
• Do not exploit anyone; get along well with other people.
• Can solve their own problems and feel accepted by anybody.
• Have a sense of humor and not at the expense of others.
• Form relationships, which are mutually enhancing.
• Care about others’ welfare, and is able to make positive contributions to others.
• Does not feel sorry for themselves even though they may have shortcomings.

 

ISSUES AFFECTING SELF-ESTEEM

 

• Needs not being met.
• No place to be heard.
• No time to explore feelings.
• Lack of respect and support
• Inability to please anyone
• Anxiety due to incongruities in our personal value system.
• Negative/Hostile environments.
• Lack of recognized achievement
• Low expectations of others
• Media: Body Image
• Negative thought patterns

 

FOOD FOR THOUGHT “As a man think, so is he”   Our thoughts are shaped by what we feed our minds. What are you meditating on? Is it shaping you to be the person you want to be?

 

This newsletter was created for you by your school social worker:

Latanya Wheeler, LMSW

Feel free to share your Comments :

lwheeler@mpsk12.net

 

FOR A GREAT SIGHT TO VISIT FOR ELEMENTARY KIDS....